January 2010

Aunt Marilyn & Grandma John, Kristi, Marilyn, Grandma, Marilyn & Kristi with their

Kristi's Mom/Doug favorite Tuckers Meal

I didn't realize it had been so long since our last post! I'm trying to keep up with this more!

We were supposed to be in North Dakota with the Voeller family for Christmas this year. However, we received news shortly before Christmas that my Aunt Marilyn's cancer had spread significantly. So, we decided we should be in Illinois with the Brasher side of the family. We managed to get out of North Dakota a day before the Christmas 2009 blizzard hit. Our normal route (East to Fargo, South to Kansas City then East to St. Louis/IL) was looking like they were going to be having a significant ice storm, so we went East through Minneapolis to Madison, WI then South to Southern Illinois. The trip was going well until we got to the Madison area where there was blowing snow. Just south of Madison, it began to turn to freezing rain. A stretch of road that should have taken just less than an hour took us over two hours. Going 20 MPH on the interstate turned our 17 hour car drive into 19 hours!

We arrived at my mom/step-dad's house about 1 a.m. Thankfully, Kona, who had slept most of the trip, was still willing to sleep once we got there!

Christmas this year was different. For the first time ever, my side of the family did not get together on Christmas Eve as Aunt Marilyn was in the hospital. We had some quiet time at my folks house, then on to church for the candlelight service. Christmas Day in the St. Louis area was a bit icy, but we managed to pick up my 87 year old Grandma Milkert and get her over to the hospital in St. Louis to see Aunt Marilyn. I was surprised how much she had changed physically since our visit in November. I was thankful that she was experiencing no pain and still had her sense of humor and gentle--but strong--spirit. She wanted time one on one with each of us. Here we were, visiting her in the hospital and she's the one bringing comfort to each of one of us.

We made it back to IL a bit late, so we kicked it into high gear to get Christmas dinner on the table. Besides Mom, Doug, John and Grandma, we were joined by my Uncle Don and Aunt Lisa, cousins Chris and Kevin and Doug's mom, Blanche. I must confess it was strange to not have Aunt Marilyn walking in with her bright smile. We were all tired and a bit subdued...seemed strange to celebrate Christmas when we all felt so sad.

John & I were able to spend some good time with Marilyn the day after Christmas. After spending some time with Kristi's best friend, Connie, we went over to St. Louis, picked up several orders of Tuckers Pork Chops and Baked Potatoes---Tuckers is the restaurant Marilyn and I loved to go when I lived in St. Louis. We spent many, many hours there talking about life-happy memories about the past, contemplating the present and looking to a better future. We took Tuckers to Marilyn, cousins Mary Beth and Joe and their spouses, Richie and Sarah. We had a great evening enjoying our Tuckers together, laughing and enjoying being together.

We spent some extra time during the trip with my Grandma---who I must say, has been incredibly strong through all of this, considering what she is going through. Marilyn was moved to her daughter, Mary Beth's house and Hospice has been providing assistance to Mary Beth and Joe as they care for their mom.

My Aunt Marilyn has shown incredible strength and dignity as she has faced her cancer. I am very proud of her. I am also very proud of the fact that she is not only my Aunt and Godmother, but she is also my friend. I am a better person for having had her in my life.

It was very hard for us to leave IL--and head back to ND, but work was calling both of us! Two weeks later, Marilyn is still at Mary Beth's house. I know it hasn't been easy for any of them, but I'm sure they are blessed by the time they've been able to spend with Marilyn in the past weeks.

We continue to keep them in our hearts and prayers...